1. |
I Read the Comments
04:21
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I was stumbling around the Internet
Trying to catch up on the news
To keep myself well rounded
with many sided views
I saw subtle flaws in logic
So much bias and heartache
Then the unthinkable
I made the prime mistake
(Chorus)
I read the comments
I read the comments
Now I’ve lost an hour
And I feel I need a shower
I read the comments
I read the comments
It was a stupid thing to do
And now I feel I’ve lost IQ
And we learned again
Never ever read
The comments
“I know Time travel is real
and the earth is truly flat
And you can catch rabies
By just looking at a bat
I know it’s all true
‘Cause this website told me so
And if your “facts” don’t agree
Then I don’t want to know
CHORUS
I tried to keep composure
Tried to ignore the trolling guy
But the stupid got the best of me
And I let my fingers fly
My wife tried to stop me
I said “what don’t you get
This is for the greater good
Someone’s wrong on the internet”
CHORUS
I’ve been permanently scarred
By the new comment chirp
Because of some grade a
Top choice epic level Derp
I have faced the Cthulhu
Of this caustic sea of text
My sanity has been destroyed
And now my heart is next
CHORUS
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2. |
Our Kind of Strange
04:31
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My cousin Vincent is a vampire
He was bitten when he was a yout’
My cousin Wally the werewolf
Likes his fur in curls ‘cause they’re cute
My sister Molly's a mermaid
Whose showers are always too long
My aunt Bea is a banshee
Who’s always breaking out in a song
We are not looking to be normal
We feel no need to change
We love each one just as they are
‘Cause they are our kind of strange
(Chorus)
He might be a zombie
But he’s still my father
Because our love
is thicker than water
She may be medusa
But she’s still our daughter
Because our love
Is thicker than water
Because our love
Is thicker than water
There’s uncle Basil the basilisk
Who studies optometry
My dad keeps his room full of sand
‘Cause he’s married to a mummy
My cousin Bob before he was cursed
Was a shy librarian
He’s in anger management
‘Cause he’s a barbarian
We are not looking to be normal
We feel no need to change
We love each one just as they are
‘Cause they are our kind of strange
CHORUS
Family is more than bloodlines
Our bond is beyond the skin
It’s not the scales on the outside
It’s the heart within
We found her in the forest
She was weird to our eyes
She looked so human, average
But that was her disguise
She didn’t have magic powers
The moon didn't make her change
But she became one of our own
‘Cause she is our kind of strange
She may not be medusa
But she’s still our daughter
Because our love
Is thicker than water
Doesn’t matter how we found her
Just that we love her
Because our love
Is thicker than water
Because our love
Is thicker, so much thicker, than water
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3. |
Meetings
02:37
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Chant Line:
Coffee Coffee Drink it down
Time to make the meeting
Grab the headset
Join the call
Sit and wait
Cause they dropped the ball
The invite list
Is really large
We’re all here
Now who’s in charge
Setup the camera
In great haste
I’m only dressed
Above the waist
(Chorus)
Meetings Meetings
By the score
From 8:00 am
To well past 4:00
Do we know
What they are for
Doesn’t matter
We’ve got more
Break the ice
With an awkward joke
No one laughed
Are their speakers broke
Present my data
feeling smart
Turns out no one
Could see the chart
We asked a question
No one replied
Are we on mute
Or have we died
CHORUS
They called a meeting
Because they can
Let’s meet to meet
‘Bout a meeting plan
Two meetings down
Too many more
I’ve sat so long
My bum is sore
It’s been four hours
Full of fail
This could have been
Just one email
CHORUS
Drama high
And volume low
What did they mean
No one knows
We’re here to make
Decisions clear
We’ll be on this call
Until next year
Oh the things we
Do for pay
This meeting’s
Going to last all day
CHORUS
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4. |
Princess
05:32
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You wandered through dangers great and small
Jump so high to rise above them all
You slid through sewers down below
And dove deep where only cheep fish go
This little hurt can make you so small
When the ground is gone it’s so hard not to fall
You will find a way to grow strong again
Pressing on for the fireworks at the end
You fought through fire
For this one desire, but
(Chorus)
Your princess is in another castle
Your princess is in another castle
You moved heaven and earth
To show her your worth
You conquered a world
Only to find
She was no longer there
Not fair
You keep on running but never seem to gain
Cling to a star to keep away the pain
There’s a bullet aimed at your heart
You’ll live again but it hurts to restart
Questions hang above your head
Hit them all ‘till the break away instead
This massive task requires a superman
But to win her back is your only plan
There’s a monster in this room
Who only lives to kill
Others might choose to quit
But I know you never will
CHORUS
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5. |
It's the Future
04:46
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It’s 2020
That means the future is here
We were told long ago
With visions very clear
That by this point in time
We should be martian pioneers
We were told that technology
Would solve all our ills
There’d be no need for money
And no need for bills
That our dinner
Would be served up as pills
(chorus)
It’s the Future
Where’s my Jetpack
It’s the Future
Where’s my Hovercar
It’s the Future
I want a Time Machine
To take to where my dreams are
‘Cause we haven’t really come that far
We were told by now
We’d be living on the moon
So I’ve waited long enough
Can we got on that soon
We’ll be ready to go
By the end of June
Don’t get me wrong
We’ve invented a lot
Like the internet
And the instant pot
And.. um.. .the internet
What else we got?
CHORUS
We’re still here looking
For a way to make our waters pure
We want a robot friend
Who will not revolt for sure
We’re looking for wars to end
And for a cancer cure
Yeah I know when you look at it
We’ve advanced a long, long ways
Life spans and medicine and even microwaves
But there is so much, we’ve only so many days
CHORUS
It’s the future
I want a slidewalk
It’s the future
I want a transporter
It’s the future
I want a cool laser sword
It’s the future
I want my MTV
It’s the future
I want my time machine
To take me to where my dreams are
‘Cause we haven’t really come that far
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6. |
Lutefisk Zombies
03:54
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When the moon is full
They feel their hungers pull
And rise up from the graves
where they lay
They shamble all about
With their arms stretching out
Searching for a meal
That’s soft and gray
The strangest thing I ever saw
Instead of moans they groan out uff da
Lutefisk Zombies
Lutefisk Zombies
They ate so much lye
Their bodies didn’t die
Lutefisk Zombies
One night they did lurch
To the last Lutheran church
That was putting on
A Lutefisk Feed
They skipped to the back
With their dead limbs attacked
To sate their undead
Lye fish need
They skipped passed the hot dish
And the lefse for the fish
That looks like jell-o
From the depths of hell
I guess we can’t complain
They’re not trying to eat our brains
They’re only drawn
To that unholy smell
The pastor tried to calm them all down
But they dropped him in the butter till he drown
Lutefisk Zombies
Lutefisk Zombies
They’re skins as cold as ice
But they’re still Minnesota Nice
Lutefisk Zombies
We’ve got a plan to lift this curse
Before it gets much worse
But what are the odds
That it will succeed
We’ll buy cod by the ton
And then comes the fun
We make so much
They’ll explode when they feed.
Now which one of you guys
Is getting started with the lye?
Lutefisk Zombies
Lutefisk Zombies
We’d shoot them in the brain
But someone might complain
Lutefisk Zombies
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7. |
Sancho Panza
03:40
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There’s the hero that we need
And the one we deserve
Sometimes you need to lead from the front
Sometimes you need to serve
It’s hard to keep on going
When the pain cuts to the bone
But don’t you think for a minute
That you have to go alone
Because I will be there
I’ll be your Sancho Panza
I'll keep your lance to hand
I’ll be your Sancho Panza
When things don’t go as planned
I’ll be your Sancho Panza
Even when I don’t understand
I’ll be your Sancho Panza
‘Cause you’ve got giants to slay
And I’ll be by your side all the way
We could be a duo
Or a super team
We don’t need a special power
All we need is a dream
I don’t care about credit
Or about who’s in charge
Our time is far too little
And our problems are too large
And I will be there
I’ll be your boy wonder
And keep the sharks away
I’ll be your boy wonder
I’ll help hold the dark at bay
I’ll be your boy wonder
I’ll know just what to say
I’ll be your boy wonder
‘Cause you’ve got a city to save
And I’ll be by your side all the way
The darkness is growing closer
Some days it’s hard just to care
Through good times and through bad
Rough skies and clear air
I want you to always know
When you need me I’ll be there
I’ll be your Sam Gamgee
I’ll defend you from great and small
I’ll be your Sam Gamgee
I’ll carry you on when you fall
I’ll be your Sam Gamgee
I’ll stay with you through it all
I’ll be your Sam Gamgee
‘Cause you’ve got a world to save
And I’ll be by your side all the way
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8. |
Change Your Mind
04:30
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This is Berk
A frozen land
That survives by stubborn pride
We fight on every day
Against dangers
from all sides
To live here is to risk being charred
This war is all we know
To be a Viking means cold and hard
And on Berk even more so
For seven generations
We repeat ourselves again
They’ve killed hundreds of us
We’ve killed thousands of them
They're not what you think
And neither are we
Is this bloody axe
All we're meant to be
Can we ever put it down
I’m not big and burly
Like my father chief
I’m the joke that they all think
Can only end in grief
He was the last of his kind
The most feared of them all
I thought my life would change
When my machine made him fall
You see fear and fire
And dagger claws that rend
When I looked into his eyes
I saw a soul
I saw a friend
They're not what you think
And neither are we
Is this bloody axe
All we're meant to be
Can we ever put it down
Give Me Some Time
And I will change your mind
Give Me Some Time
And I will change your mind
We can be so much more
We can be so much more
We can put down the axe
It would have been
so much easier
If I had done what I was taught
I don’t know all that I am
But I know what I am not
In a war to the death
There’s a way for us all to live
We only grow by the chance we take
we’re cut down by the hate we give
They're not what you think
And neither are we
Is this bloody axe
All we're meant to be
Can we ever put it down
Give Me Some Time
And I will change your mind
Give Me Some Time
And I will change your mind
We can be so much more
We can be so much more
We can put down the axe
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9. |
Spoons
04:25
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Moment by moment
Measure by measure
Assessing each breath
Count each endeavor
Where others are running
Our triumph is to stand
Each breath is underwater
and a struggle not to drown
Where they are floating forward
You have weights pulling down
Struggle through each wave
And try to remember land
Spend each precious drop of life
One spoonful at time
(Chorus)
You can't dance your life away
to someone else's tunes
At the end of the day
you only have so many spoons
You can’t keep running in the air
like a coyote in cartoons
At the end of the day
you only have so many spoons
Take the air for granted
Till you only have the smoke
Take the fall for funny
Till you’re not in on the joke
Take time by the handful
Feel each grain of sand
They don’t need to hoard their pennies
‘Cause they’ve never been poor
No yearning for a goal line
When they’re not keeping score
Don’t wish to be like them
Just wish they’d understand
Spend each precious drop of life
One spoonful at time
CHORUS
You only have so long
Before the well runs dry
You only have so much to give
You can’t make a path
From a map that is a lie
There is so much more to life
than just to live
CHORUS
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10. |
Good, Good Day
04:10
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I paid off some debts I owed
I checked in the last piece of code
I learned how to use the force
I got an A in my practical physics course.
I made it to level 85
We beat the boss and got back alive
I earned myself a brand new name
I broke the record on the starfighter game
My ship did not burst into flames
I stole a gun back from a thief
who has too many names
(Chorus)
It's been a good day
It's been a good day
Nothing you can say
Can take my joy away
It's been a good
Great day
I got a lot of good advice
A passerby said something nice
I came up with a catchy tune
Today’s the day we got back to the moon
I did the thing that made me Leap
I read a poem so beautifully deep
I shutdown an obnoxious creep
I got 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
I got to pet a friends new kitty cat
I saved my love from the fire swamp
after wrestling a giant rat
CHORUS
It’s hard to see the happiness
When there’s fire all around
It’s hard to let your dreams take flight
When worries nailed you to the ground
But I won’t let them divide us
I won’t let the dark side in
Cause when they steal our joy from us
That’s when the bad guys win
I finally learned to understand
I held on to a loved one’s hand
I was there to heal a broken heart
I helped a stranger make a new start
I took the time to cherish precious sights
I made a choice and raised my voice
to defend some human rights
CHORUS
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11. |
Meeple Love
05:01
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I have built cities
I’ve laid claim to foreign lands
I have hunted, I have farmed
I have stood tall by your hands
My kind may seem tiny
only a half inch tall
but when you choose to use us
we can do it all
Then came that day of shouting
I was knocked down so low
I’m lost alone in the dark
where your eyes never go
(Chorus)
Can We play again
Can we play again
I lie here waiting
for the moment when
We will play again
I may be small
and made of painted wood
But I made the choice more real
than a cube ever could
Now I’m lost below the shelf
next to a marble that is blue
and two cardboard tokens
what’s a meeple to do
CHORUS
I’m not like the dice who always changes his face
Or the VP chips that never give the right score
I’m not the silly piece that jumps around
I’m the man that stands for so much more
It’s so hard to be beyond the table’s edge
in the dark lands unknown
It’s so hard to play our game
when I am alone
Then came a wind
and shout from on high
She fell down into the dust
from the table sky
She was a meeple just like me
the prettiest thing I had ever seen
and the best part of all
She was painted green
Can We play again
Can we play again
I will stay with you
‘til the very end
and we will play again
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12. |
Iocaine
03:27
|
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Cut rate assassins are no better than cheap thugs
They’ll put any old thing in their targets’ mugs
Want to show you’re a pro? Let me make it plain
There is no better way than using Iocaine
CHORUS
Iocaine Iocaine Iocaine
It’s a deadly wonder
Not a classic blunder
A conversation’s end
An assassin’s best friend
Iocaine Iocaine
You don’t need to find a way
To get it In their ear somehow
It has no taste; It has no smell
You might be drinking it right now
Give it a little stir and
watch it instantly dissolve
Now you've got a riddle
only the smartest man can solve
CHORUS
Trusted as number one
in the criminal community
It’s nearly foolproof
unless you develop immunity
You want a name that
the citizens will dread
There’s only one choice
when you need somebody dead
CHORUS
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13. |
Captain Boomerang
04:30
|
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I’m not the last airbender
With some mighty destiny
I can’t bend the elements
All I can bend is me
I can’t use my touch to heal
Or see with my feet
All I really have
is sarcasm and meat
I can’t play with magic water
Or ride the air like Aang
But I can fight, I can fight
With my trusty boomerang
I believe in the power of my brain
If we just try hard enough
There’s nothing we can’t explain
I’m Captain Boomerang,
Captain Boomerang
I’m the man with the plan
And the plan is attack
But don’t you worry,
I’m always coming back
I’m Captain Boomerang,
Captain Boomerang
I’ve seen so many things
That you would call bizarre
But that’s just a normal day
When you’re on Team Avatar
A giant talking owl
That collects every book ever read
A sabertooth moose lion cub
That fell asleep on my head
Call me the muscle
Or call me the chief
But don’t you dare call me
The comic relief
I helped to invent a hot air war balloon
Then there’s the time my girlfriend
turned into the moon
I’m Captain Boomerang,
Captain Boomerang
I'm overflowing with creativity
So come along with me
Let's do an activity
I’m captain Boomerang,
Captain Boomerang
You need people of intelligence
On every epic quest
I may not be a public speaker
But at comebacks I’m the best
I’ve learned so much
Since we found the boy in the ice
like sometimes winning
Requires a sacrifice
I’m not the Avatar
revered throughout the land
But when the bad guys are coming
I will always stand
I want to fight
to make the fire nation toast
But a hero goes
where he’s needed most
I’m Captain Boomerang,
Captain Boomerang
When the chips are down
and my moment of truth comes,
I’m gonna smack-a-dack-a-doo it
right in the gums
I’m captain Boomerang,
Captain Boomerang
|
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14. |
Fandoms Assemble
03:39
|
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We love Star Trek
And we also love Firefly
We love Star Wars
And we’ll gladly tell you why
But just because we love these things
Doesn’t mean they must compete
There’s room enough in our hearts
To make the set complete
I’ll say live long and prosper
And may the force be with you
One doesn’t cancel out the other
When my excitement rings through
You have my sword
And her bow
And their phaser
You have our dragon
Her wand
And his lightsaber
You have their special dice
And her sonic screwdriver
We are united by what we love
We are united by what we love
There’s no such thing
As a certified true fan
Especially as defined by
Random Internet Man
You don’t have to love every piece
All you need is to love just one
That’s all there is to it
You’re a fan, book it, done
There’s no forms to fill out
No rules on how to express your joy
You can be any age
And still love a movie about a toy
The forces of darkness
Thrive in being judgemental
But we are stronger in our differences
So it’s time for these fandoms to assemble
You have my sword
And her bow
And their phaser
You have our dragon
Her wand
And his lightsaber
You have their special dice
And her sonic screwdriver
We are united by what we love
We are united by what we love
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The Faithful Sidekicks Oregon City, Oregon
Nerdy Geeky Comedy Rock Folk (Can we throw any more in there? Alt? Sure, why not.).
The Faithful
Sidekicks is all that and more.
Eric and Jen Distad have been making music together for many years, but in 2014 decided that they really wanted to write fun songs about the geeky things they love - Sci Fi, Fantasy, Board Games, Video Games, Movies... and so here we are, ready to make you smile!
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