Achievement Unlocked

by The Faithful Sidekicks

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    The full experience. CD in new flexible Digi-pack made from recycled material! Custom created art made by The Faithful Sidekicks. Also optionally includes an Achievement Unlocked sticker to show the world your adulting skills and a Han Solo For President sticker!

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about

The Faithful Sidekicks second CD filled with geeky goodness, from gaming to ice cream and everything else.

credits

released January 5, 2018

license

all rights reserved

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about

The Faithful Sidekicks Andover, Minnesota

Nerdy Geeky Comedy Rock Folk (Can we throw any more in there? Alt? Sure, why not.).

The Faithful Sidekicks is all that and more.

Eric and Jen Distad have been making music together for many years, but in 2014 decided that they really wanted to write fun songs about the geeky things they love - Sci Fi, Fantasy, Board Games, Video Games, Movies... and so here we are, ready to make you smile!
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Track Name: We Are Sentinels
The world is falling down again
A madman’s evil eyes are looking for it’s end
His power is on display
Minions turning up to break this final day

There’s damage everywhere
It might be more than the fixer can repair

The Baron’s got his deadly beam
He’ll crash the moon to earth unless we stop his scheme
We’ve got one shot to use our power
We’ve got to hurry before they break the freedom tower

It’s time we heed the call
Time for you and I to save it all

We are Sentinels
We are Sentinels
Heroes that unite
For the cause of right
We are Sentinels

The villains unveiled their strategy
Their defeat will be our greatest legacy
The (ongoing threat) minion carnage is growing fast
But you will burn it all away with a fire blast

When the bad guys knock you down
It’s not over while you have friends around

Lives in the balance
But they won’t take the day
Things are getting dire
But we have one last card to play

We are Sentinels
We are Sentinels
Heroes that unite
For the cause of right
We are Sentinels
Track Name: Achievement Unlocked
New Game - Yes

Choose Difficulty: Hard

(You’ve chosen adulting with career)

Roll out of bed
Jump in the shower
Upgrade my costume
Time to use the special power

These levels are getting long
And there’s no cheat code
This game is more than hard enough
But at least there’s a co-op mode

I got through the whole day
Without spilling on my shirt
I didn’t break my diet
With a second helping of dessert

I played an adult today
Achievement Unlocked
I ate my greens today
Achievement Unlocked
I (totally) parked parallel
Achievement Unlocked
I consoled a friend not feeling well
Achievement Unlocked

We approach the looming tower
Of the cubicle domain
We must acquire the gold coins
Without going insane

Worker drones are everywhere
But we are not afraid
They attack with monotony
Time for a weapon upgrade

I faked my way through an idle chat
About some sort of sport
I managed to put a cover sheet
On my TPS report

I played an adult today
Achievement Unlocked
I RTFM'd today
Achievement Unlocked
I stayed awake through the meeting
Achievement Unlocked
I returned your greeting
Achievement Unlocked

We’ve been given an epic quest
Called Assault on the Endless Chores
But first we must prepare ourselves
With loot from the grocery stores

Our Inventory is getting low
Need to smash some blocks of pay
Uh oh the music changed
Time to Fight the Boss: Form 1040A

I played an adult today
Achievement Unlocked
I went outside today
Achievement Unlocked
I climbed a wall today
Achievement Unlocked
I broke an arm today
Achievement Unlocked

I really wish we could reset
And start over today
Or at least reload
And get another play

I played an adult today
Achievement Unlocked
I didn’t get in my own way
Achievement Unlocked
I wrote a song today
Achievement Unlocked
I made a new friend today
Epic Awesome Achievement Unlocked
Track Name: Ticket Open
Click it down two more rows

(chant line)
Ticket open
Ticket close

Enter blocks of faulty prose

Here’s how we troubleshoot
“Please shutdown and then reboot”

(Chorus)
Ticket open
Take the case
One more step
In an endless race
But if the metrics
Don’t keep pace
You’ll find another
Working place

"Needs to change the desktop sound"
Time to send the new guy round

“It always used to work before”
The tape fell off the printer door

CHORUS

Time to find
the day’s excuse
"Solar flares
make cables loose"

User needs an “ANY” key
Mark it error ID-Ten-T

CHORUS

Tickets clogging up the queue
Assign them all to level two

Now the caller’s getting mad
Oops I think the line went bad

Ticket open
Take the case
One more step
In an endless race
But if the metrics
Don’t keep pace
You’ll find another
Working place

Ticket open
Take the case
One more step
In an endless race
There's one good thing
though it is small
You're not the schmuck
who's stuck on call
Track Name: My Name Is Serenity
Welcome to my clubhouse
Come inside if you’re brave
But be ready for some bumps
‘Cause we aim to misbehave

My crew is smart and shiny
They keep me in the black
Even when the job goes south
You know I’ll bring them back

My name is Serenity
And I’m a soaring firefly
For just a little fee
I’ll take you to my sky
And we will roam the stars so free
Cause they’ll never take this sky from me

There's Wash: betrayed by dinosaurs
And Zoe knows what to do
Inara is steel inside of silk
And Mal will see us through

Shepherd Book’s mysterious
The Tams are on the run
Kaylee keeps me running smooth
And Jayne he’s got a gun

My name is Serenity
And I’m a soaring firefly
For just a little fee
I’ll take you to my sky
And we will roam the stars so free
Cause they’ll never take this sky from me

The alliance is closing in
To rule us all by fear
We’ll leave behind those cry babies
And then just disappear

Some broken things can not be fixed
But I will always fly true
And when you can’t run anymore
I will carry you

My name is Serenity
And I’m a soaring firefly
For just a little fee
I’ll take you to my sky
And we will roam the stars so free
Cause they’ll never take this sky from me

Watch how I soar
Track Name: I Built A Time Machine
When I show up on Monday
He's waiting there for me
A stupid smirk
showing that he knows

We call him “The Spoiler”
Because this villain lies in wait
To reveal the ending
of our favorite shows

But I’ve got a secret plan
to finally foil the spoiler man

I built a time machine
‘cause I don’t have DVR
I built a time machine
‘cause I don’t have DVR
We’ll alter time’s flow
To catch my favorite show
And then I will always know
How the story goes
I built a time machine

My new remote control
is really universal
It can channels
just like you expect
But I can fast forward
and rewind time
Pause the universe
But I don’t know what
happens when you hit eject

And when I don't understand a thing
I’ve got close captioning

I built a time machine
‘cause I don’t have DVR
I built a time machine
‘cause I don’t have DVR
We’ll alter time’s flow
To catch my favorite show
And I will always know
How the story goes
I built a time machine

I’ll Skip my way to the future
Grab a place in line
To see Star Wars Episode 94
I'll grab a soylent smoothie
And watch Star Trek’s fifth reboot
Where Absolutely Everyone's Gone Before

Dimension jump to a different sky
To see Season 2 of Firefly

I built a time machine
‘cause I don’t have DVR
I built a time machine
‘cause I don’t have DVR
We’ll alter time’s flow
To catch my favorite show
And I will always know
How the story goes
I built a time machine

They say use this power
for the good of humanity
But I'd screw up the timeline
oh so permanently
I figure I'm safe
just watching a show
One little look
no one will know

Then one day I dropped it
the remote shorted out
Now I’m stuck in a loop
again and again
Watching the same 20 minutes
over and over
Please someone
Won't you tell me how it ends!

I built a time machine
because I don't have a dvr
Now I broke my time machine
and I still don't have a dvr
We'll alter times flow
to catch our favorite show
Please someone let me know
How the story goes

I built a time machine

I built a time machine
now I'm stuck looping again
Please save me Spoiler
PleaseTell me the end
Track Name: The Other Guys
I’m a limey fork flinger
And you are raging out of control
This guy, he can shovel well
And she really knows how to bowl

You know who to call
When the trouble is serious
One guys is silent but deadly
And the other is mysterious

We’re the other guys
We’re the other guys
When it comes to heroes
Yeah, we know we’re not the best
We’re the other guys
We’re the other guys
But when it's our turn to save you
We will never rest
‘Cause we’re the other guys

You call us wannabes
we will endure all your hazing
and we will flip every toggle
To rescue captain amazing

They tell us to act our age
But were facing a great disaster
If you don’t learn to master your rage...

We’re the other guys
We’re the other guys
When it comes to heroes
Yeah we know you’d pick us last
We’re the other guys
We’re the other guys
But we’ll try to save the day
Even though we weren’t asked

And when the big guy is down
It’s our turn to go
How to defeat the Disco Gang
Is what we need to know

We’re the other guys
We’re the other guys
We’re the mystery men
The super septet

We’re the other guys
We’re the other guys
But when we save the day
I’ll forkgive you if you forkget
We’re them
We’re they
We’re the other guys
Track Name: Ice Cream Coma
I know I should see a doctor
For my weird disease
Lactochrononitis
Or in laymans terms - Brain Freeze

One little milkshake
Puts me right to sleep
Have a sundae on Monday
And I'm out rest of the week

Ice Cream Coma
White Lightning
Ice Cream Coma
Has struck my brain
Ice Cream Come
Toffee Coffee
Ice Cream Coma
Will Drive You Insane
Coma...

Normally someone eats it
And gets a brain freeze
But I ate a chunky munky
And missed 1983

I missed a week
From a vanilla
And a month from Rocky Road
I slept through all of October
From a pint of cookie dough

Ice Cream Coma
Butter Brickle
Ice Cream Coma
So rich and cold
Ice Cream Coma
French Vanilla
Ice Cream Coma
Never gets old
Coma...

Cryogenic suspension
In a convenient little cup
I know I should resist it
But I just eat it up

If you find me frozen
Please leave a note on my head
Don’t you dare defrost me
‘Cuz I aintn’t dead

Put me in a cryogenic dairy freezer
And we'll chill through space and time
Then we can enjoy raspberry ripple
In 2099

And if I miss any flavors
Promise to save me some
Unless it's something outrageous
Like onion bubble gum

Ice Cream Coma...
Track Name: I Am Not A Gun
Lost alone and stranded
Vacuum memories
Hungry desperation
Then you set me free

I am bigger on the outside
So small and lost inside
And then your words filled me up
Your love became my guide

We are who we choose to be

The men of fear are coming
To force the past on me
They won’t rest until I become
What they think they see

They might be right to fear
In the dark corners of my mind
Echoes of another place
Where I was not so kind

We are who we choose to be
We are who we choose to be
I am not a gun

You showed me great adventures
Stories filled with thrill
And the reality of danger
What it means to kill

I could be Atomo
Made to destroy
Or I could be a hero
And save my only boy

We are who we choose to be
We are who we choose to be

I am not a gun

I am Superman

I am Superman

And I choose love
Track Name: Team Neville FTW
He’ll never be a seeker
He can barely ride a broom
And faces fail to shine at all
When he walks into the room

He’s gawking awkward gangly
Buck toothed and accident prone
But when you need someone to lean on
His name stands alone

You might look right past him
Without a second glance
But he’s the hero we deserve
And he sure knows how to dance

It’s Team Neville For The Win
Team Neville FTW
Let me hear you sing it out
Team Neville FTW

It takes a bit of courage
To take down evil men
You know it takes a good deal more
To face down your friends

He knows his herbology
With the green thumb that he’s got
When you need some gillyweed
He’s Neville on the spot

Sometimes he’s forgetful
But hey aren’t we all
He’s able to recall
With a Remembrall

It’s Team Neville For The Win
Team Neville FTW
Let me hear you sing it out
Team Neville FTW

You know he’s seen so much pain
A life filled with heartache
Sorrows that would crush a lesser man
But he will never break

It’s Team Neville For The Win
Team Neville FTW
Let me hear you sing it out
Team Neville FTW

What he lacked in talent
He made up for with persistence
When the big three ran away
You know he led the resistance

When the good guys were hanging back
He stepped up to the dark lord
He didn’t try to speechify
Instead he found a sword

He may not be the one
You think will impress the crowd
But he has what it takes
To make his parents proud

It’s Team Neville For The Win
Team Neville FTW
Let me hear you sing it out
Team Neville FTW
Track Name: One With The Force
When I was a kid
Going to a grocery store
I always waved my hand
To open the door

I would turn off my targeting
When I shot a basketball
Knowing that the Force
Would surely guide its fall

I believed the Force could get me
Out of every tight spot
And if I only had a saber
I could deflect every shot

With the Force I could jump so high
I’d leave the earth behind
I could simply wave my fingers
to change someone’s mind

And I still want to believe

I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one
With the force

I’d have a little green guy
Who’d ride around on my back
He’d teach me knowledge and defense,
But not a word about attack

I’d peer into the future,
See visions of my fate
But somehow I‘d always get there
Just a bit too late

And I still want to believe

I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one
With the force

Maybe there’s no mystical field
That guides my destiny
They say it’s all
Simple tricks and nonsense
But I still believe
That something connects us all
And I know
It’s not Midichlorians

I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one with the force
And the force is with me
I am one
With the force
Track Name: It's All XP To Me
It’s 8:00 friday night
This time we will get it right
It’s time for our little group to fight
In this raid as one

We'll grind some rats
for rocks that glow
Why they eat them
No one knows
We need them to craft a dark banjo
to summon the evil one

It’s the 8th time we’ll take him down
All for a chance to find an purple crown

So we’ll fight fight fight
In this raid tonight
Destroying mobs is our destiny
If we die die die
We are not gonna cry
We will rise again, you will see
And It’s all XP to me

And when that evil king appears
Our rogue will stab him in the rear
Then everyone should jump clear
He might use his Death Boquet

Now my mana's getting low
And you know that dwarf is slow
He needs to find a new crossbow
That fires more than once a day

Someday I'll be just like you
When I reach level 62

We’ll fight fight fight
In this raid tonight
Destroying mobs is our destiny
If we die die die
We are not gonna cry
We will rise again, you will see
And It’s all XP to me

Our tank is now low on health
And our rogue has lost his stealth
We don't know where we left the elf
Yeah The Ranger has lost his way

The Wizard is down so you protect
until the healer can resurrect
Shoot! It seems her plans were wrecked
By the Necromancer's Ray

This looks like it might be our end
I am glad you're here with me my friend

We’ll fight fight fight
In this raid tonight
Destroying mobs is our destiny
If we die die die
We are not gonna cry
We will rise again, you will see
And It’s all XP to me

The rogue has brought a world of pain
He was followed by a monster train
Of Orcs with aggro on their brain
And some are really strong

I'll fire off my DOT
Then you hit them with your AOE
We'll take them down 1, 2, 3
Unless something goes wrong...

...and now the tank went link dead
Maybe it's time to go to bed

So we’ll fight fight fight
In this raid tonight
Destroying mobs is our destiny
If we die die die
We are not gonna cry
We will rise again, you will see
And It’s all XP to me
Track Name: The Greater Good
A quiet little town
The perfect place to stay
Everyone knows everyone
Perfect in every way

So Picturesque
In the Dictionary for quaint
We’re the neighborhood watch
But you’ll hear no complaint

Just don’t ask
About our accidents

We do it all (do it all)
For the greater good
We do it all (do it all)
For the greater good
It’s not for us
It’s for the greater good

The crime rate in this town
Is just about nill
And our town’s most wanted
has a black bill

It’s not really murder
We just dispose of pests
Why can’t you understand
We meant it for the best

By the end it will be clear
We are the village of the year

We do it all (do it all)
For the greater good
We do it all (do it all)
For the greater good
It’s not for us
It’s for the greater good

You’re not the first cop
To try to put us on the spot
The last guy was just as good
And he had something you haven’t got

We’re sorry you decided
To make such a fuss
We had such hopes for you
But now you must come with us

We do it all (do it all)
For the greater good
We do it all (do it all)
For the greater good
It’s not for us
It’s for the greater good

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