Achievement Unlocked

by The Faithful Sidekicks

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The full experience. CD in new flexible Digi-pack made from recycled material! Custom created art made by The Faithful Sidekicks. Also optionally includes an Achievement Unlocked sticker to show the world your adulting skills and a Han Solo For President sticker!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Achievement Unlocked via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
The world is falling down again A madman’s evil eyes are looking for it’s end His power is on display Minions turning up to break this final day There’s damage everywhere It might be more than the fixer can repair The Baron’s got his deadly beam He’ll crash the moon to earth unless we stop his scheme We’ve got one shot to use our power We’ve got to hurry before they break the freedom tower It’s time we heed the call Time for you and I to save it all We are Sentinels We are Sentinels Heroes that unite For the cause of right We are Sentinels The villains unveiled their strategy Their defeat will be our greatest legacy The (ongoing threat) minion carnage is growing fast But you will burn it all away with a fire blast When the bad guys knock you down It’s not over while you have friends around Lives in the balance But they won’t take the day Things are getting dire But we have one last card to play We are Sentinels We are Sentinels Heroes that unite For the cause of right We are Sentinels
2.
New Game - Yes Choose Difficulty: Hard (You’ve chosen adulting with career) Roll out of bed Jump in the shower Upgrade my costume Time to use the special power These levels are getting long And there’s no cheat code This game is more than hard enough But at least there’s a co-op mode I got through the whole day Without spilling on my shirt I didn’t break my diet With a second helping of dessert I played an adult today Achievement Unlocked I ate my greens today Achievement Unlocked I (totally) parked parallel Achievement Unlocked I consoled a friend not feeling well Achievement Unlocked We approach the looming tower Of the cubicle domain We must acquire the gold coins Without going insane Worker drones are everywhere But we are not afraid They attack with monotony Time for a weapon upgrade I faked my way through an idle chat About some sort of sport I managed to put a cover sheet On my TPS report I played an adult today Achievement Unlocked I RTFM'd today Achievement Unlocked I stayed awake through the meeting Achievement Unlocked I returned your greeting Achievement Unlocked We’ve been given an epic quest Called Assault on the Endless Chores But first we must prepare ourselves With loot from the grocery stores Our Inventory is getting low Need to smash some blocks of pay Uh oh the music changed Time to Fight the Boss: Form 1040A I played an adult today Achievement Unlocked I went outside today Achievement Unlocked I climbed a wall today Achievement Unlocked I broke an arm today Achievement Unlocked I really wish we could reset And start over today Or at least reload And get another play I played an adult today Achievement Unlocked I didn’t get in my own way Achievement Unlocked I wrote a song today Achievement Unlocked I made a new friend today Epic Awesome Achievement Unlocked
3.
02:13
Click it down two more rows (chant line) Ticket open Ticket close Enter blocks of faulty prose Here’s how we troubleshoot “Please shutdown and then reboot” (Chorus) Ticket open Take the case One more step In an endless race But if the metrics Don’t keep pace You’ll find another Working place "Needs to change the desktop sound" Time to send the new guy round “It always used to work before” The tape fell off the printer door CHORUS Time to find the day’s excuse "Solar flares make cables loose" User needs an “ANY” key Mark it error ID-Ten-T CHORUS Tickets clogging up the queue Assign them all to level two Now the caller’s getting mad Oops I think the line went bad Ticket open Take the case One more step In an endless race But if the metrics Don’t keep pace You’ll find another Working place Ticket open Take the case One more step In an endless race There's one good thing though it is small You're not the schmuck who's stuck on call
4.
Welcome to my clubhouse Come inside if you’re brave But be ready for some bumps ‘Cause we aim to misbehave My crew is smart and shiny They keep me in the black Even when the job goes south You know I’ll bring them back My name is Serenity And I’m a soaring firefly For just a little fee I’ll take you to my sky And we will roam the stars so free Cause they’ll never take this sky from me There's Wash: betrayed by dinosaurs And Zoe knows what to do Inara is steel inside of silk And Mal will see us through Shepherd Book’s mysterious The Tams are on the run Kaylee keeps me running smooth And Jayne he’s got a gun My name is Serenity And I’m a soaring firefly For just a little fee I’ll take you to my sky And we will roam the stars so free Cause they’ll never take this sky from me The alliance is closing in To rule us all by fear We’ll leave behind those cry babies And then just disappear Some broken things can not be fixed But I will always fly true And when you can’t run anymore I will carry you My name is Serenity And I’m a soaring firefly For just a little fee I’ll take you to my sky And we will roam the stars so free Cause they’ll never take this sky from me Watch how I soar
5.
When I show up on Monday He's waiting there for me A stupid smirk showing that he knows We call him “The Spoiler” Because this villain lies in wait To reveal the ending of our favorite shows But I’ve got a secret plan to finally foil the spoiler man I built a time machine ‘cause I don’t have DVR I built a time machine ‘cause I don’t have DVR We’ll alter time’s flow To catch my favorite show And then I will always know How the story goes I built a time machine My new remote control is really universal It can channels just like you expect But I can fast forward and rewind time Pause the universe But I don’t know what happens when you hit eject And when I don't understand a thing I’ve got close captioning I built a time machine ‘cause I don’t have DVR I built a time machine ‘cause I don’t have DVR We’ll alter time’s flow To catch my favorite show And I will always know How the story goes I built a time machine I’ll Skip my way to the future Grab a place in line To see Star Wars Episode 94 I'll grab a soylent smoothie And watch Star Trek’s fifth reboot Where Absolutely Everyone's Gone Before Dimension jump to a different sky To see Season 2 of Firefly I built a time machine ‘cause I don’t have DVR I built a time machine ‘cause I don’t have DVR We’ll alter time’s flow To catch my favorite show And I will always know How the story goes I built a time machine They say use this power for the good of humanity But I'd screw up the timeline oh so permanently I figure I'm safe just watching a show One little look no one will know Then one day I dropped it the remote shorted out Now I’m stuck in a loop again and again Watching the same 20 minutes over and over Please someone Won't you tell me how it ends! I built a time machine because I don't have a dvr Now I broke my time machine and I still don't have a dvr We'll alter times flow to catch our favorite show Please someone let me know How the story goes I built a time machine I built a time machine now I'm stuck looping again Please save me Spoiler PleaseTell me the end
6.
I’m a limey fork flinger And you are raging out of control This guy, he can shovel well And she really knows how to bowl You know who to call When the trouble is serious One guys is silent but deadly And the other is mysterious We’re the other guys We’re the other guys When it comes to heroes Yeah, we know we’re not the best We’re the other guys We’re the other guys But when it's our turn to save you We will never rest ‘Cause we’re the other guys You call us wannabes we will endure all your hazing and we will flip every toggle To rescue captain amazing They tell us to act our age But were facing a great disaster If you don’t learn to master your rage... We’re the other guys We’re the other guys When it comes to heroes Yeah we know you’d pick us last We’re the other guys We’re the other guys But we’ll try to save the day Even though we weren’t asked And when the big guy is down It’s our turn to go How to defeat the Disco Gang Is what we need to know We’re the other guys We’re the other guys We’re the mystery men The super septet We’re the other guys We’re the other guys But when we save the day I’ll forkgive you if you forkget We’re them We’re they We’re the other guys
7.
I know I should see a doctor For my weird disease Lactochrononitis Or in laymans terms - Brain Freeze One little milkshake Puts me right to sleep Have a sundae on Monday And I'm out rest of the week Ice Cream Coma White Lightning Ice Cream Coma Has struck my brain Ice Cream Come Toffee Coffee Ice Cream Coma Will Drive You Insane Coma... Normally someone eats it And gets a brain freeze But I ate a chunky munky And missed 1983 I missed a week From a vanilla And a month from Rocky Road I slept through all of October From a pint of cookie dough Ice Cream Coma Butter Brickle Ice Cream Coma So rich and cold Ice Cream Coma French Vanilla Ice Cream Coma Never gets old Coma... Cryogenic suspension In a convenient little cup I know I should resist it But I just eat it up If you find me frozen Please leave a note on my head Don’t you dare defrost me ‘Cuz I aintn’t dead Put me in a cryogenic dairy freezer And we'll chill through space and time Then we can enjoy raspberry ripple In 2099 And if I miss any flavors Promise to save me some Unless it's something outrageous Like onion bubble gum Ice Cream Coma...
8.
Lost alone and stranded Vacuum memories Hungry desperation Then you set me free I am bigger on the outside So small and lost inside And then your words filled me up Your love became my guide We are who we choose to be The men of fear are coming To force the past on me They won’t rest until I become What they think they see They might be right to fear In the dark corners of my mind Echoes of another place Where I was not so kind We are who we choose to be We are who we choose to be I am not a gun You showed me great adventures Stories filled with thrill And the reality of danger What it means to kill I could be Atomo Made to destroy Or I could be a hero And save my only boy We are who we choose to be We are who we choose to be I am not a gun I am Superman I am Superman And I choose love
9.
He’ll never be a seeker He can barely ride a broom And faces fail to shine at all When he walks into the room He’s gawking awkward gangly Buck toothed and accident prone But when you need someone to lean on His name stands alone You might look right past him Without a second glance But he’s the hero we deserve And he sure knows how to dance It’s Team Neville For The Win Team Neville FTW Let me hear you sing it out Team Neville FTW It takes a bit of courage To take down evil men You know it takes a good deal more To face down your friends He knows his herbology With the green thumb that he’s got When you need some gillyweed He’s Neville on the spot Sometimes he’s forgetful But hey aren’t we all He’s able to recall With a Remembrall It’s Team Neville For The Win Team Neville FTW Let me hear you sing it out Team Neville FTW You know he’s seen so much pain A life filled with heartache Sorrows that would crush a lesser man But he will never break It’s Team Neville For The Win Team Neville FTW Let me hear you sing it out Team Neville FTW What he lacked in talent He made up for with persistence When the big three ran away You know he led the resistance When the good guys were hanging back He stepped up to the dark lord He didn’t try to speechify Instead he found a sword He may not be the one You think will impress the crowd But he has what it takes To make his parents proud It’s Team Neville For The Win Team Neville FTW Let me hear you sing it out Team Neville FTW
10.
When I was a kid Going to a grocery store I always waved my hand To open the door I would turn off my targeting When I shot a basketball Knowing that the Force Would surely guide its fall I believed the Force could get me Out of every tight spot And if I only had a saber I could deflect every shot With the Force I could jump so high I’d leave the earth behind I could simply wave my fingers to change someone’s mind And I still want to believe I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one With the force I’d have a little green guy Who’d ride around on my back He’d teach me knowledge and defense, But not a word about attack I’d peer into the future, See visions of my fate But somehow I‘d always get there Just a bit too late And I still want to believe I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one With the force Maybe there’s no mystical field That guides my destiny They say it’s all Simple tricks and nonsense But I still believe That something connects us all And I know It’s not Midichlorians I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one with the force And the force is with me I am one With the force
11.
It’s 8:00 friday night This time we will get it right It’s time for our little group to fight In this raid as one We'll grind some rats for rocks that glow Why they eat them No one knows We need them to craft a dark banjo to summon the evil one It’s the 8th time we’ll take him down All for a chance to find an purple crown So we’ll fight fight fight In this raid tonight Destroying mobs is our destiny If we die die die We are not gonna cry We will rise again, you will see And It’s all XP to me And when that evil king appears Our rogue will stab him in the rear Then everyone should jump clear He might use his Death Boquet Now my mana's getting low And you know that dwarf is slow He needs to find a new crossbow That fires more than once a day Someday I'll be just like you When I reach level 62 We’ll fight fight fight In this raid tonight Destroying mobs is our destiny If we die die die We are not gonna cry We will rise again, you will see And It’s all XP to me Our tank is now low on health And our rogue has lost his stealth We don't know where we left the elf Yeah The Ranger has lost his way The Wizard is down so you protect until the healer can resurrect Shoot! It seems her plans were wrecked By the Necromancer's Ray This looks like it might be our end I am glad you're here with me my friend We’ll fight fight fight In this raid tonight Destroying mobs is our destiny If we die die die We are not gonna cry We will rise again, you will see And It’s all XP to me The rogue has brought a world of pain He was followed by a monster train Of Orcs with aggro on their brain And some are really strong I'll fire off my DOT Then you hit them with your AOE We'll take them down 1, 2, 3 Unless something goes wrong... ...and now the tank went link dead Maybe it's time to go to bed So we’ll fight fight fight In this raid tonight Destroying mobs is our destiny If we die die die We are not gonna cry We will rise again, you will see And It’s all XP to me
12.
A quiet little town The perfect place to stay Everyone knows everyone Perfect in every way So Picturesque In the Dictionary for quaint We’re the neighborhood watch But you’ll hear no complaint Just don’t ask About our accidents We do it all (do it all) For the greater good We do it all (do it all) For the greater good It’s not for us It’s for the greater good The crime rate in this town Is just about nill And our town’s most wanted has a black bill It’s not really murder We just dispose of pests Why can’t you understand We meant it for the best By the end it will be clear We are the village of the year We do it all (do it all) For the greater good We do it all (do it all) For the greater good It’s not for us It’s for the greater good You’re not the first cop To try to put us on the spot The last guy was just as good And he had something you haven’t got We’re sorry you decided To make such a fuss We had such hopes for you But now you must come with us We do it all (do it all) For the greater good We do it all (do it all) For the greater good It’s not for us It’s for the greater good

about

The Faithful Sidekicks second CD filled with geeky goodness, from gaming to ice cream and everything else.

credits

released January 5, 2018

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about

The Faithful Sidekicks Oregon City, Oregon

Nerdy Geeky Comedy Rock Folk (Can we throw any more in there? Alt? Sure, why not.).

The Faithful Sidekicks is all that and more.

Eric and Jen Distad have been making music together for many years, but in 2014 decided that they really wanted to write fun songs about the geeky things they love - Sci Fi, Fantasy, Board Games, Video Games, Movies... and so here we are, ready to make you smile!
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